Happy Friday everyone, it’s seems that the depression i have been feeling over the last couple of weeks is beginning to lift.
I have definitely been to hard on myself, I couldn’t get excited when my nurse weighed me on Wednesday even though I have lost a massive 26lbs/11.8kgs..since I began my journey. I felt very guilty and angry at myself for eating some junk over the Easter weekend, it was a one off and it doesn’t matter it’s not everyday as I was told, but that wouldn’t register in my brain it still doesn’t, as I’m writing this I still feel angry at myself, one day I will get over it completely but that’s not today.
As stated the depression is starting to lift, yesterday I didn’t have a clue why I was feeling down but today the lightbulb is now flickering and iv managed to put the fruit in the fruit bowl lol, not a big achievement for a lot of people but it is for me.
Even though I have been angry at myself. I was very lucky to spend it with 2 of my grandsons who brought me much joy and laughter, it was great to be able to go to the beach with them and watch them paddling in the sea even though it was freezing lol, digging holes in the sand not sure where they were digging to lol.
Waking up Easter morning was a very sad time, I knew my friend was going to die, Cancer is a bitch I’d received a message to say that she had passed away, even though you know it still hit me hard, she had been my neighbor and friend for many years before I moved 100s of miles away, the last time I saw her was 2017, (how does the time fly by so fast), when I had gone to visit my sister who was also battling cancer and sadly also lost the fight. I have lost many family members to this god awful disease, my parents, my sister, aunts and uncles. How many more people have to suffer, before they tell us we have a cure? I could go on for hours about this illness but il stop now..
So peeps it’s time for me to get my butt off the sofa, throw my stupid lap top through the window (although I would love to smash it up id better not or il be stuck ha ha ), decide on what’s for tea tonight and get into my wheels (just had a thought maybe I should pimp my wheelchair umm something to do on a rainy day..), I need strawberries the greengrocer should be open now.
Where ever you are whatever your doing I’m hoping you can smile, if you can’t im sending you a virtual hug xx