Menstruation, Periods and the Crazy Rational who lives within us….

Hi peeps,

I thought today i would write about my loathing for Mother Nature, i always thought Mother Nature was supposed to be lovely, kind and caring, well guess what she is a WOMAN, yep a woman that turns into a crazy, mad thing every few weeks but what i want to know is why does she inject us with her pain and misery, what have we done to deserve the agonising cramps that leave us doubled up and squealing, the low back pain that means we can’t get comfy wherever we sit, whatever position we get in, makes us toss and turn in bed in pain and sweat, really not good during a heatwave, oh and don’t forget the water retention not good when you step on the scales to find even though you have been so good and not cheated on your diet once, but you have put on 6lbs, the rational in us doesn’t surface but hides somewhere deep inside us, instead the crazy rational, leaving us screaming and crying and throwing the bathroom scales down the stairs and into the dustbin, while shouting obscenities including words you never knew even existed, screaming at our love ones get to the bakery now and get me the biggest cream cake they have, and DO NOT come back without chocolate and ice-cream also or i will cut up all your clothes and your sleeping in the garden tonight. ( although i’m sure there are lots of love ones who wouldn’t mind sleeping in the garden every few weeks) Lol. Boy dont they put up with some crap from us women, its a good job they love us…

Its 4.30am and im lay in bed sweating, even with the fan on… Oh my back it is in agony, im perched on the edge of the bed doing my best not to scream out in pain just so i don’t wake the entire house up ( but hey why should they sleep when i cant says crazy rational). So i decide to consult google and this is what i found.

  • ‘Lower back pain during your period is totally common ‘ Urmm yep i think i worked that one out….
  • ‘Its caused by contractions in the uterus which radiate through the web of nerves within your pelvic region’ ahh so that’s why my belly goes hard and soft all day and night and looks like i’ve got a beach ball under my night dress and leaves me doubled up in pain, again i know this geeze just tell me how to get rid of the pain or at least ease it so i can get some damn rest….
  • ‘Prostaglandins also cause of the symptoms of menstrual cramps and discomfort’ prostaglandins should be called prosta bloody bandins.. that name for it sounds like a happy name that you should be glad, really, who comes up with these stupid names, think about the sounding of the word before you name it….
  • ‘Tips to reduce painful cramping and low back pain’ take over the counter painkillers, yep done that not working, take stronger prescribed painkillers, yep done that to.
  • .EXERCISE’.. what!!! its 4.30am and the last thing i want to do is beeping EXERCISE, geeze get out of bed and exercise to relieve my symptoms no thanks i’ll stay here and continue to blow steam from my ears.
  • Conclusion… wake up my partner and send him out to find an open shop to get me comfort food, that will make me happy for a few mins…. (no i didn’t wake him), despite this Mother Nature person, i’m on a weight loss plan and i’m sticking to it, you might rule my uterus for a while each month but i control what goes in my mouth, though i’m not responsible for what sounds comes out of it when your about..

I hope you can have a giggle at what i have wrote, totally tongue in cheek, no offence meant to anyone reading it, and i know there maybe people reading it, who have not or just started there periods and yes it can be scary, but it is totally normal women have been going through this for many many years, and there is always someone you can talk to about periods, it is nothing to be embarrassed about and perfectly Normal..

Images Google, Research Google.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. jmarie1974 says:

    HAHAHAHAHA – LOVE IT! is it wrong to be wishing the menopause would just hurry up and get here!?!?!? PS – have you tried a hot water bottle for your back and tummy cramps? that helps me 🙂

    Like

    1. Lol, not at all wrong wishing the menopause would hurry up, im period free for 11 months then bam she’s back for a few months, doc said I’m peri-menapausal which apparently is worse and can last upto 20 years, brilliant only another 13yrs to go….. (Breathes deeply with long sigh) lol. Oh yes hot water bottle, wheat pillows iv tried it all.
      The joys of being female ha ha ha

      Like

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