Yesterday I had my visit with the NP, she did the usual, blood pressure, pulse, urine all was OK for me, so it’s all going well until she asks me to climb on the bed… Geez is everyone 7ft tall, with a belly about to pop and my boobs shoved up to my face I now had to climb a mountain to get onto the bed, bearing in mind that my tummy is huge and my eyesight is distorted by my boobs it was a case of feel for the side of the bed and judge how far I had to try and pull myself up to cock my leg onto the bed.

Made it, now you know how narrow the doctors beds are, I thought i was going to head butt the wall,, so i’m now sat and nice and comfyish praying i don’t topple back off, i am a little larger than most people, just waiting for my pillow so i can lie back into a bit more comfort!!, ‘i need you to lie flat and oh were not allowed to use pillows no more’, why? i didn’t ask ( making a mental note now to ask next time) i’m just thinking how the eck on this narrow bed that feels like its on the ceiling am i suppose to lie down flat?, umm ok here goes as gracefully as i can ease myself backwards into a flat! position, while my boobs remove themselves from my face and slide under the armpits, ‘comfy?’ do i look comfy… she gently feels around my tummy, i’m not flinching it doesn’t hurt, just uncomfortable i bet she thinks i’m making it up..

And then bang, i almost land on the ceiling and try not to fall off the bed while screaming, oh she found the spot, ‘I thought that was where the problem was’ she says, ‘thank you for confirming it’ confirming it, what are you doing to me? I’v never been shot but wonder if that’s what it feels like, geezee….. the pain has radiated through my body im in agony all over, I do need to try and look down and see if my tummy is still there or has she popped it?, though i think that’s just wishful thinking on my part, ‘ok you can sit up now’ she says trying to help me up, I made it though not sure how, it feels like i’ve done a 1000 sit ups, so as im sat on the edge of the bed while the room is spinning, i vagulay hear her say, ahh just as i thought you have inflammation of the upper abdomen and esophagus, after going through my food diary ( it came in handy that i use the myfitnesspal app ), going through my medication, she put it down to a blip in my weightloss journey, gave me a month’s supply of medication and said to come in see my GP the day after i get back from my hols, with the warning if its not settled down you will have to go for another endoscopy … OH NO, no way am i going through all that again, I will run, I will pick up this broken body and run run run, I will become the next Forrest Gump….

Finally made it home, yuk what a horrible day it is out there, all miserly just how i’m feeling, to much pain for me to even think about organising food, seeing as im feeling very sorry for myself, i send hubby out to get my prescription and a tub of ice-cream, I deserve ice-cream and a cheese and ham sandwich, i have not had a cheese butty since i started my weightloss plan, and while i’m clearly not thinking straight it’s been a couple of crap weeks and i’ve been put through even more excruciating pain today, I decided to have an off day, and do you know what i do not feel guilty at all, I think it was very much needed, so here i am muching through my butty while googling my ‘Blip’ and it turns out bread is the worse thing i can eat, typical only I could make that mistake ha ha.

Hurrah the ice-cream has arrived, not diet ice-cream, but real googy ice-cream, opening the pack of tablets, I give them a stern warning, you have 2 weeks, not 12 weeks, but 2 weeks to reduce the size of my belly, iv new grown up clothes that i want to wear, but i’m guessing there not going to listen to me, i’ll let you know ha ha.

Hope you all had a good day yesterday, whatever, where ever you were/doing xoxo