Iv lost my mojo. Where has it gone?

Hello world.

How are you all?

Its been a tough week, iv really struggled all week, I have hit a slump and im struggling to bring myself up from it.

I have comfort ate all week, if its there iv eaten it, it certainly didn’t comfort me, it made me more depressed so then i ate more, it is a vicious circle that im in, if i wasn’t eating i was online shopping, Iv brough clothes, beauty products and upgraded our phones to new ones, so far non of the shopping has brought me any happiness, not like it usually does, iv also knocked back cans of pepsi max my thirst has been insatiable.

My sleep has been awful constantly waking up, sweating, stressing or with an upset tummy.

Today i have to force myself to do things, so far iv put some eggs on to boil, popped fruit and salad on the side to make into snack boxes, and im currently sat on the bike.

Excersise is suppose to release feel good hormones, well i wish they would hurry up and find there way to my brain, im desperate for them.

Thursday was a bit of pull and push day, Neil wanted me to go down to the dock with him to get some fish for tea, he was pushing me out and I was pulling back.

I did eventually go with him although it was very frightening my breathing was rather erratic due to me stressing about being outside, I though at one point that my heart was going to explode through my chest as it was beating so fast, Im thinking that I really do have an enxiety problem thats far deeper than I originally thought.

We did manage to get some fish, we got two 2 kilo bags of langoustines and 2 Gurnard the Gunard were only £1.00 each and we had never had it before so even if we didnt like it we hadn’t wasted any money really.

I cooked the Gurnard in a large foil covered tin, with a bit of butter, wine, salt, pepper, mixed herbs and garlic, I stuffed each fish with a half lemon and lime to add some extra flavour, then brought the stock to a boil to thicken it and poured it over the filleted fish.

I am hoping that this bike is soon going to help my feel good hormones pop out of where they are hiding and make me smile a bit more today.

I think you get the general gist of that im feeling like crap, and even though I know I will pop back up it had just better be bloody quick.

Im going to get off this bike and go and prep some food or im just going to get back on the sofa and do nothing.

Have a great day everyone xoxoxo

Image from google

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.