Diary Entry 23/02/21 Not a great month.

Hello World.

Well its been a while since i have been here, infact a month ago since I wrote my last post.

Its been quite a month, ups and downs, some bad some not so.

My next door neighbor lost her husband to Covid-19 less than a week after coming out of hospital, he was negative when he went into hospital and positive when he came out, a week after his funeral she also lost her daughter to a brain tumor, she has shown some amazing strength I really can not comprehend just how she has got through this past month, my heart bleeds for her each time I catch sight of her, the sadness of not being able to attend funerals is heartbreaking instead we line the streets to show our support and express our grief.

On a positive note I have had my 1st vaccine shot, I just had a headache for a few days and felt a bit under the weather.

Food wise has not been good I have been rather down in the dumps which is really insignificant to what some have been going through, but once again I turned to food, I just didn’t have the willpower to go and cook something healthy instead I just turned on my phone and went to the fast food app, yes I felt guilt, guilt each time I ordered, guilt each time I took a bite of the food, it is though there is a stronger force out there that helps me make bad decisions one I am struggling to win against.

My private Instagram is full of pictures of me smiling and looking amazing but inside i am just crying out, what im crying out for I do not know, see im not even making sense here…

I have tried to keep up with my workouts and I am progressing well, but again I feel guilty if I miss a day, I am working really hard at them and so far have managed to sprain my left wrist and pull my right bicep, on the arm workout days I just change and do a leg workout day instead, although to progress through the levels I have to do a bit of arm work, hence me covered in support bandages lol.

Last Thursday the weather was rather nice, so we went for a little walk along the river, I think it was September when I was there last, it was good to get out, but now the weather is turning again, this time last year it was really warm and nice to sit in the garden with my morning coffee, I’m sure the days will arrive again soon.

So again another month passes and I still don’t have anything exciting to say, no beautiful pictures to show, but yes, I know they will reappear on day, writing this I have learnt a lot from myself and that is I am the worst at following my own advice ha ha.

I hope you are all keeping well and I will try to pop in a bit more often, but for now keep smiling everyone xoxoxo

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